My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
