You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
