All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
