Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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