Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
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I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
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Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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