hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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