My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
