i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
