Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
