Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The air was thick with penises
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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