how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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