mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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