Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
