I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
