My room smells like vodka and shame
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
