Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
