i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
