When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
