I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
