i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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