That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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