Can i not drive my cunt home
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need to calm my uterus...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
