Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
