I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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