i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
