god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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