my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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