Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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