He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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