did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just pee around me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
