my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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