in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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