Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
