If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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