Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
