That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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