Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
