Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
