I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
