I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
