dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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