I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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