You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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