her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
