I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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