So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
