i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
