Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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