When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
