I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
