i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
