he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
