I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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