Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
