he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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