Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
