I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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