I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
