fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
