Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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