oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
