I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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