I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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